Hello All,
Hope everyone is doing well. I can't believe it has been three months since my last blog. Sorry I haven't posted in a while. A lot has been going on since my last posting.
First, let me get the news out of the way. Treatment is OVER. My last radiation treatment ended less than a month ago. From mid June to mid July I had to go into the hospital five times a week to get zapped. The daily process took in total only 20 minutes, but the initial set up process took about 2 hours. The initial process consisted of the technicians creating a cast of my head and the top of my chest, marking my body with semi-permanent marker for alignment, and taking a low dosage scan to ensure that I was positioned correctly. The idea behind this setup is to ensure that I am positioned in the same exact spot on the table. This is extremely important so that they are treating the same spot instead of a "general" area. So every day when I went in, they would strap me to a table with the cast that they made of my head and the top of my chest, line up the markings on my body with the cast and then they would administer the radiation to my chest from the front and then from the back. The total time I was in the office was around twenty minutes. Overall the the treatment was not that taxing on me physically. I think I pulled through it very well. The only side effect was that I was a bit tired at the end of the twenty treatments, but since then I'm back to normal. From a weight perspective I am now back at 86kg or 190lbs. At the end of my chemo I was weighing in at 170lbs. When my brother Steven saw me during his visit, he said that I looked a bit too thin. Thanks to Steven and Billy's visit, I gained some weight back.
Other news. As I mentioned above, my brother Steven and cousin Billy visited me during the months of May and June. It was great seeing them and spending a lot of time with them. When Steven came it, we spent a week together here in Melbourne. Then we took off to Sydney, met Billy, spent time together in Sydney, and then Steven took off back to the states. Billy and I then stayed in Sydney for a couple of days and then headed to Melbourne where he stayed for a week. The trip that those guys made over here meant the world to me and it was at a perfect time when I was coming out of my chemo treatments and before my radiation treatments. Furthermore, as fathers and husbands themselves, it meant even more that Rachel (Steven's wife) and Kristi (Billy's wife) were so strong in letting the guys leave for such a long time. From experience, I know that it is very hard on the mama while the papa is gone for such a long time. Thank you Kristi and Rachel, I appreciate it so much.
Amy, Olivia and I also had another visitor which was Bonnie. Bonnie is my mother in law and is such a wonderful woman. During Bonnie's one month visit she helped both Amy and I with Olivia and gave me the opportunity to take off for 5 days by myself up to Byron Bay for a music festival. Bonnie stayed with Amy to help with Olivia. It was fantastic seeing Bonnie spend so much time with Olivia and Amy and I enjoyed spending time with Bonnie as well. Between Bonnie and Amy many craft projects were completed and Olivia had a wonderful playmate to match.
Life right now is really good. I feel like the experience I have been through has helped me to grow as a person. Everything is positive and throughout the entire experience I did what I needed to do for myself to get through this. Am I doing everything such as eating a strict diet and meditating everyday? No. The program that I went through has helped me to keep those very important lifestyle changes in my mind and I do practice them as much as I can. I think the important thing is to keep working at achieving a balance in life and just being in a spot that you enjoy your life and the people you love.
I'll keep updating this blog every couple of months.
Goodbye for now.
Brian
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Chemo Over - Break Time - Visits from Family
Hi Everyone. Well, my Chemo Treatments ended last week and I'm exstatic that this part of the journey is over. The needles, hospital, doctor appointments, etc. were starting to get to me. And it did appear to me that as the treatments went on, I was getting a bit more tired and my belly was a bit raw days after the treatments. Chemo is over.
Next up is radiotherapy in which I will have treatment everyday five days a week for one entire month. In the next 2 weeks I will be consulting with my Radiologist Oncologist. They usually wait 4 to 8 weeks after my chemo to begin scans to see exactly what they are dealing with. This is done because the chemo causes inflamation at the site of where the cancer was. Therefore I am on break.
As of right now based on the last scan, the doctors can not detect any cancer in my body. There is activity at the cancer site, but they believe it is based on inflamation caused by the chemo therapy as I mentioned above. Overall I'm feeling well. Energy levels are good and I'm looking forward to exerting a bit of energy while I have Steven (my brother) and Billy (my cousin) come to Australia for a visit. Over the last 4 weeks, Bonnie (my mother-in-law) has been staying with us which has been great. She is spending some quality time with Olivia while Amy and I have been able to get a bit of rest and play in while she is here.
A few weeks ago over the Easter holiday I went by myself to a music festival in Byron Bay New South Wales. At the music festival I saw some great local Australian acts along with International acts including Michael Franti and Spearhead, Ben Harper, Xavier Rudd, ZZ Top, Bob Dylan, Los Lobos, Rodrigo Y Gabriela, BB King, Blind Boys of Alabama, The Meters, Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi, Robert Randolph and the Family Band, Warren Haynes, and Jethro Tull just to name a few. It was a great time and I was able to relax quite a bit while I was there. Poor Amy and Bonnie were taking care of a sick Olivia who has since recovered fully.
I'll be sending an update in the next month on what the steps are for the radiotherapy.
Next up is radiotherapy in which I will have treatment everyday five days a week for one entire month. In the next 2 weeks I will be consulting with my Radiologist Oncologist. They usually wait 4 to 8 weeks after my chemo to begin scans to see exactly what they are dealing with. This is done because the chemo causes inflamation at the site of where the cancer was. Therefore I am on break.
As of right now based on the last scan, the doctors can not detect any cancer in my body. There is activity at the cancer site, but they believe it is based on inflamation caused by the chemo therapy as I mentioned above. Overall I'm feeling well. Energy levels are good and I'm looking forward to exerting a bit of energy while I have Steven (my brother) and Billy (my cousin) come to Australia for a visit. Over the last 4 weeks, Bonnie (my mother-in-law) has been staying with us which has been great. She is spending some quality time with Olivia while Amy and I have been able to get a bit of rest and play in while she is here.
A few weeks ago over the Easter holiday I went by myself to a music festival in Byron Bay New South Wales. At the music festival I saw some great local Australian acts along with International acts including Michael Franti and Spearhead, Ben Harper, Xavier Rudd, ZZ Top, Bob Dylan, Los Lobos, Rodrigo Y Gabriela, BB King, Blind Boys of Alabama, The Meters, Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi, Robert Randolph and the Family Band, Warren Haynes, and Jethro Tull just to name a few. It was a great time and I was able to relax quite a bit while I was there. Poor Amy and Bonnie were taking care of a sick Olivia who has since recovered fully.
I'll be sending an update in the next month on what the steps are for the radiotherapy.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Life, Purpose and Happiness
Hi Everyone. My apologies for not updating the blog in over a months time. A lot has happened in the last month that I want to share with you. First, let me give you an update on what is happening regarding my health. In my last post I reported that I had a CT scan and that my oncologist reported that the mass has shrunk over 50% and that I was due to have a PET scan to determine the status of the cancer. Well, I had that scan done and the conclusions that both my oncologist and haemotologist came to was that, after review, they could not determine if what was showing up on the superimposed PET and CT scans was just inflamation in the scar tissue or cancer. This is amazing since I started out with an 11 cm mass in my chest and now the activity in my chest is so small that it is impossible to determine activty. So regardless, there is no doubt that the treatment is working, I'm responding and that they want me to continue with chemo and go through the radiotherapy as well. I questioned both of them on why I should go through the radiotherapy and basically it comes down to increasing my odds. If I do not go through the radiotherapy, my cure rate is between 70 to 80 percent, which means there is a 20 to 30 percent chance that the cancer would reoccur. But if I went through the radiotherapy that number goes up to 90%. So I have opted to go through the radiotherapy since I'm planning on being here for the long haul. I just want to give myself the best result I possibly can. The only side effect is that going through radiotherapy there can be some cardiac and lung damage that would show up later in life.
Last week I completed my 9th chemo treatment and will be going to my 10th this upcoming monday. After that treatment, only 2 more to go. Both Amy and I are really excited that this part of the journey is almost over. Overall I am feeling pretty good. I am down to about 178lbs or 81 kilos. I am feeling healthy at this weight and many people have commented that I'm looking pretty healthy as well.
Ever since I went to the Gawler retreat I have always wanted to explain some of the details of what I have learned and what I am practicing in my daily life that I believe is helping me to heal and will allow me to maintain good health. Below are not all of the details, but it is a start. I promise in upcoming posts I will provide more detail.
From a nutrition perspective, first I am drinking a lot of fresh vegetable juices. I'm primarily having a combined carrot, celery, beetroot and ginger juice per day along with a glass of lemon juice with water when I rise in the morning. I should be drinking another "green" juice and carrot juice per day, but I've stopped doing so primarily because of time. I'm following primarily two types of diets that I learned about at Gawler. First, there is the healing diet which is purely a vegan/vegetarian/organic diet. Second, there is a maintenance diet which incorporates the healing diet, but is less restrictive, i.e. I can eat a bit of meat, fish, dairy, and alcohol. When I returned from Gawler I was doing 100% of the healing diet. Now I am doing about 50/50 of maintenance and healing. I avoid all processed food, fast food, caffeine and junk. If I do eat meat, chicken or fish, it is organic, free range and the deep sea version respectively.
From a physical fitness perspective, in a past blog I mentioned that I was going on walks with Olivia, but not enough of them. Well that's still the situation. I am getting out with her, but not as much as I want to. Inside the house, though, we play quite a bit. I don't think I have crawled as much since I was a baby myself. Lots of push ups, stretches and lifting of Olivia. What I have also begun doing is practicing Yoga. I go to a 2 hour yoga class per week that helps me with strength, balance, flexibility and inner focus. I love the class.
At Gawler I was taught that the vast majority of illnesses are caused or aggravated by a stress component which can also be referenced as "excessive thinking." Excessive thinking creates defensiveness, contraction and stagnation of the natural energy movement throughout the body. Excessive thinking contributes to ill health and can also prevent a sick body from healing. Therefore understanding the thinking mind and knowing how to let go of excessive thinking is extremely helpful for me to heal my body. How do I do this? By meditating. While I was at Gawler I was taught how to meditate using the mindfulness based stillness mediation method. While I was there, I meditated 3-5 times a day for 30 to 40 minutes a session. When I came back from Gawler I was doing 1 to 2 30 minute sessions a day. And now I am meditating less than 5 days a week. I believe that I need to increase the number of times I meditate a week simply because I just feel better when I do so. And now that I am working, I've learned that meditation has helped me think clearer, listen to people better and focus on what I need to get done. Furthermore, Amy can definitely see the difference in me on days I meditate and when I don't. It is clearly something that I need to do more often. For me I'm viewing it as a journey to improve my meditation practice and trying not to worry about how often I do it per day.
Finally I want to leave you with something. A few weeks back I went to a public talk and saw Sogyal Rinpoche who is a Tibetan Dzogchen Lama of the Nyingma tradition. He has been teaching for over 30 years and he is also the author of the book, "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" At the talk he spoke about the topic of meditation, but before he got into the details of meditation he touched on something profound. He said that happiness should be based on contentment and inner peace. And when you are trying to find that inner peace, you must only search inside of you. He went on to say that unfortunately in society today it appears that most look to the outside world to find happiness. A practice of meditation gives you the ability to find that inner peace and contentment. Simply put, meditation is the eye into your soul.
Here's something to think about that may help you on the road to finding happiness. Sit down in a quiet place. Then after you're in a relaxed state jot down in a bit of detail what has given you a feeling of enthusiasm, passion or sense of purpose and meaning in your life. And then think about what nourishes you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. For me, being diagnosed with cancer, I think about this a lot and it has helped me to set the priorities in my life.
Will chat again soon.
Last week I completed my 9th chemo treatment and will be going to my 10th this upcoming monday. After that treatment, only 2 more to go. Both Amy and I are really excited that this part of the journey is almost over. Overall I am feeling pretty good. I am down to about 178lbs or 81 kilos. I am feeling healthy at this weight and many people have commented that I'm looking pretty healthy as well.
Ever since I went to the Gawler retreat I have always wanted to explain some of the details of what I have learned and what I am practicing in my daily life that I believe is helping me to heal and will allow me to maintain good health. Below are not all of the details, but it is a start. I promise in upcoming posts I will provide more detail.
From a nutrition perspective, first I am drinking a lot of fresh vegetable juices. I'm primarily having a combined carrot, celery, beetroot and ginger juice per day along with a glass of lemon juice with water when I rise in the morning. I should be drinking another "green" juice and carrot juice per day, but I've stopped doing so primarily because of time. I'm following primarily two types of diets that I learned about at Gawler. First, there is the healing diet which is purely a vegan/vegetarian/organic diet. Second, there is a maintenance diet which incorporates the healing diet, but is less restrictive, i.e. I can eat a bit of meat, fish, dairy, and alcohol. When I returned from Gawler I was doing 100% of the healing diet. Now I am doing about 50/50 of maintenance and healing. I avoid all processed food, fast food, caffeine and junk. If I do eat meat, chicken or fish, it is organic, free range and the deep sea version respectively.
From a physical fitness perspective, in a past blog I mentioned that I was going on walks with Olivia, but not enough of them. Well that's still the situation. I am getting out with her, but not as much as I want to. Inside the house, though, we play quite a bit. I don't think I have crawled as much since I was a baby myself. Lots of push ups, stretches and lifting of Olivia. What I have also begun doing is practicing Yoga. I go to a 2 hour yoga class per week that helps me with strength, balance, flexibility and inner focus. I love the class.
At Gawler I was taught that the vast majority of illnesses are caused or aggravated by a stress component which can also be referenced as "excessive thinking." Excessive thinking creates defensiveness, contraction and stagnation of the natural energy movement throughout the body. Excessive thinking contributes to ill health and can also prevent a sick body from healing. Therefore understanding the thinking mind and knowing how to let go of excessive thinking is extremely helpful for me to heal my body. How do I do this? By meditating. While I was at Gawler I was taught how to meditate using the mindfulness based stillness mediation method. While I was there, I meditated 3-5 times a day for 30 to 40 minutes a session. When I came back from Gawler I was doing 1 to 2 30 minute sessions a day. And now I am meditating less than 5 days a week. I believe that I need to increase the number of times I meditate a week simply because I just feel better when I do so. And now that I am working, I've learned that meditation has helped me think clearer, listen to people better and focus on what I need to get done. Furthermore, Amy can definitely see the difference in me on days I meditate and when I don't. It is clearly something that I need to do more often. For me I'm viewing it as a journey to improve my meditation practice and trying not to worry about how often I do it per day.
Finally I want to leave you with something. A few weeks back I went to a public talk and saw Sogyal Rinpoche who is a Tibetan Dzogchen Lama of the Nyingma tradition. He has been teaching for over 30 years and he is also the author of the book, "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" At the talk he spoke about the topic of meditation, but before he got into the details of meditation he touched on something profound. He said that happiness should be based on contentment and inner peace. And when you are trying to find that inner peace, you must only search inside of you. He went on to say that unfortunately in society today it appears that most look to the outside world to find happiness. A practice of meditation gives you the ability to find that inner peace and contentment. Simply put, meditation is the eye into your soul.
Here's something to think about that may help you on the road to finding happiness. Sit down in a quiet place. Then after you're in a relaxed state jot down in a bit of detail what has given you a feeling of enthusiasm, passion or sense of purpose and meaning in your life. And then think about what nourishes you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. For me, being diagnosed with cancer, I think about this a lot and it has helped me to set the priorities in my life.
Will chat again soon.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Good News - Mid Point Review
Valentine's Day is special this year. On the 14th I went with Amy and Olivia to see my oncologist to review the results of my mid point CT scan that I had done the previous week. After review it looks like the mass in my chest has shrunk down over 50%. This is a great result. My oncologist recommended that I get a PET scan to determine if what is left in my chest is just scar tissue or scar tissue with remaining cancer cells. With this type of cancer, hodgkins lymphoma, there usually is scar tissue remaining in the chest cavity. Originally I was reluctant to get another scan because of the build up of radiation in my body, but if they can determine if the cancer is gone or almost gone, then my treatment may change. For example he may reduce the number of chemo treatments or pull back on the radiotherapy. The PET scan is scheduled for next week. Fingers crossed. Finally, I will also be meeting with my hematologist the following week as well. With a recommendation of a friend, my hematologist is one of the best in Australia. I'm currently meeting with him as I leverage him as my second opinion.
How am I feeling? Overall pretty good, but not as strong as I used to be, as to be expected. A few weeks back I took a bicycle ride along the Yarra river and felt a bit tired after a short ride. I'm also not outside walking as much as I used to. I feel like I'm missing an opportunity to be walking with Olivia in the baby carrier. Tomorrow. My weight is steady at 185 lbs or 83 kilos. Hair is thinning out much more and my muscle mass has shrunk. But if I have to be in this position, then i'm happy where I am at. Treatment is working, spending time with Amy and Olivia and now beginning to work again. Some that I know from my support group and those that i got to know at the retreat are having tough times or have moved on from the physical world. Just today I found out that another person from the retreat has died which makes three. I think my biggest challenge is balance, which the Gawler retreat has
helped me a lot with meditation, nutrition, positive thinking and living in the present moment.
How am I feeling? Overall pretty good, but not as strong as I used to be, as to be expected. A few weeks back I took a bicycle ride along the Yarra river and felt a bit tired after a short ride. I'm also not outside walking as much as I used to. I feel like I'm missing an opportunity to be walking with Olivia in the baby carrier. Tomorrow. My weight is steady at 185 lbs or 83 kilos. Hair is thinning out much more and my muscle mass has shrunk. But if I have to be in this position, then i'm happy where I am at. Treatment is working, spending time with Amy and Olivia and now beginning to work again. Some that I know from my support group and those that i got to know at the retreat are having tough times or have moved on from the physical world. Just today I found out that another person from the retreat has died which makes three. I think my biggest challenge is balance, which the Gawler retreat has
helped me a lot with meditation, nutrition, positive thinking and living in the present moment.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Holidays, Birthdays and Update
A belated Happy New Year to all. Many years of happiness and good health to everyone. The family and I did not do much this New Years since Amy and Olivia were both sick. Amy and I did enjoy the view of the Melbourne fireworks from our apartment (42nd floor), so that was a treat. As the one with the low immune system, I prided myself as the one who was not sick, but was sad that both Olivia and Amy were sick for most of the holidays.
This year was special since I celebrated my 40th on the 1st of January and Olivia celebrated her first birthday just yesterday on the 14th. As mentioned above, we did not do much on NYE or New Years Day for that matter because the girls were sick, but on the 2nd we took a ride to Hanging Rock which is 45 minutes outside of Melbourne. At hanging rock we took a beautiful uphill hike and when we made it to the top, we had a gorgeous view of the Victorian countryside. Everything about the hike was great. The smells, views, and physical exertion were all good especially since I carried Olivia in the baby carrier strapped to my chest both up and down the hill. It was a good one hour hike. For Olivia's birthday, Amy and I had a chocolate and vanilla cupcake for her. We sang Happy Birthday, blew out the candle, then Olivia proceeded to completely destroy the cupcakes. Not sure she ate much of them, but I think she had a great time. She was covered in cupcake so we took a birthday bath too. I think she had a good day. Next week we'll be having a joint birthday party for Olivia and her good mate Tomas. Should be lots of fun. Also for Olivia's birthday week we made a trip to the Melbourne Zoo. Another great day for the family.
I've done a lot of reflection/contemplation on turning 40 and the age thing does not really matter as much as I thought it would. As my cousin and best friend Bill puts it, I'd rather be getting older than not. He's absolutely right. I think what is important is the mere fact that I am here for this landmark birthday and I have the ambition and drive to improve my health and be here for many more. During the retreat there was a lot of discussion on the topic of living and dying. Recognizing and accepting death is something that we all need to face and everyone needs to go through their own process of acceptance. I'm sure that everyone has heard this a million times, but I will repeat it. Everyone should be living in the present moment, we should all be living right now as if tomorrow we will not be around. This birthday has really made me think about that. While I accept the fact that at some point in the future I will die, right now in the present moment I need to live, enjoy, laugh, love, etc. In today's world it is sometimes hard to do just that or for some people it's hard to even think about that. Happy Birthday to me, and my little girl too.
O.K., so here's where I'm at with my health. This Monday I will be going for my fifth chemo treatment out of twelve. After the sixth I will be having a midterm where my oncologist is going to assess where I'm at, i.e. how I'm going with the treatment. I'll need to take some scans and tests if I choose so. I'm thinking about not taking PET and CT scans and looking for alternatives because the amount of radiation that is going to be put into my body just from the scans themselves will add on another 12 to 15 years that it will take for my body to rid of the radiation. I've already tallied up 15 to 20 years from all the tests I have had in the past. At this point I'm weighing in at 83 kilos or 183 lbs. This is the lowest weight I've been in quite some time and personally it's lower than I wanted it to be. I'm certain that on my next visit to the oncologist, he's going to say something about it. But being on a vegan diet about 85% of the time, I'm finding it difficult to prepare and eat enough food. My appetite is still very good and I have not had any bouts with nausea or vomiting. Hair wise I got a buzz cut a couple of weeks ago because I started losing long strans of hair around the house. I thought it would be better to lose very short hairs instead of long ones so that it did not drive Amy crazy. Since I have a massive mop on my head, I still have a good amount of hair, but it is thinning out. And now I'm seeing it on Olivia once in a while since we like to play together a lot. I think that the only thing that has been bothering me about my health is that I have been experiencing pain in my entire left arm now ever since I had my last treatment almost two weeks ago. I was worried for a bit about it, but my oncologist says that the veins must be bruised from the last treatment. This Monday they will use the right arm. If I experience pain in the right arm and my left arm does not heal in the short term I will probably elect to get a pic or port inserted in my body. A pic/port is where a line is temporarily inserted in your body so that blood can be taken and fluids can be inserted without tapping into your vein numerous times over. Honestly I'm tired of the needle situation, so this is a viable option. Finally, as a follow up from a previous blog, my neut counts are now back to normal. After my treatments I am now required to inject myself with a protein for five days following the treatment. They seem to be working since I failed to get sick just as Olivia and Amy did. Next blog I will discuss what I am currently doing for my health, i.e. meditation, nutrition, exercise, etc.
This year was special since I celebrated my 40th on the 1st of January and Olivia celebrated her first birthday just yesterday on the 14th. As mentioned above, we did not do much on NYE or New Years Day for that matter because the girls were sick, but on the 2nd we took a ride to Hanging Rock which is 45 minutes outside of Melbourne. At hanging rock we took a beautiful uphill hike and when we made it to the top, we had a gorgeous view of the Victorian countryside. Everything about the hike was great. The smells, views, and physical exertion were all good especially since I carried Olivia in the baby carrier strapped to my chest both up and down the hill. It was a good one hour hike. For Olivia's birthday, Amy and I had a chocolate and vanilla cupcake for her. We sang Happy Birthday, blew out the candle, then Olivia proceeded to completely destroy the cupcakes. Not sure she ate much of them, but I think she had a great time. She was covered in cupcake so we took a birthday bath too. I think she had a good day. Next week we'll be having a joint birthday party for Olivia and her good mate Tomas. Should be lots of fun. Also for Olivia's birthday week we made a trip to the Melbourne Zoo. Another great day for the family.
I've done a lot of reflection/contemplation on turning 40 and the age thing does not really matter as much as I thought it would. As my cousin and best friend Bill puts it, I'd rather be getting older than not. He's absolutely right. I think what is important is the mere fact that I am here for this landmark birthday and I have the ambition and drive to improve my health and be here for many more. During the retreat there was a lot of discussion on the topic of living and dying. Recognizing and accepting death is something that we all need to face and everyone needs to go through their own process of acceptance. I'm sure that everyone has heard this a million times, but I will repeat it. Everyone should be living in the present moment, we should all be living right now as if tomorrow we will not be around. This birthday has really made me think about that. While I accept the fact that at some point in the future I will die, right now in the present moment I need to live, enjoy, laugh, love, etc. In today's world it is sometimes hard to do just that or for some people it's hard to even think about that. Happy Birthday to me, and my little girl too.
O.K., so here's where I'm at with my health. This Monday I will be going for my fifth chemo treatment out of twelve. After the sixth I will be having a midterm where my oncologist is going to assess where I'm at, i.e. how I'm going with the treatment. I'll need to take some scans and tests if I choose so. I'm thinking about not taking PET and CT scans and looking for alternatives because the amount of radiation that is going to be put into my body just from the scans themselves will add on another 12 to 15 years that it will take for my body to rid of the radiation. I've already tallied up 15 to 20 years from all the tests I have had in the past. At this point I'm weighing in at 83 kilos or 183 lbs. This is the lowest weight I've been in quite some time and personally it's lower than I wanted it to be. I'm certain that on my next visit to the oncologist, he's going to say something about it. But being on a vegan diet about 85% of the time, I'm finding it difficult to prepare and eat enough food. My appetite is still very good and I have not had any bouts with nausea or vomiting. Hair wise I got a buzz cut a couple of weeks ago because I started losing long strans of hair around the house. I thought it would be better to lose very short hairs instead of long ones so that it did not drive Amy crazy. Since I have a massive mop on my head, I still have a good amount of hair, but it is thinning out. And now I'm seeing it on Olivia once in a while since we like to play together a lot. I think that the only thing that has been bothering me about my health is that I have been experiencing pain in my entire left arm now ever since I had my last treatment almost two weeks ago. I was worried for a bit about it, but my oncologist says that the veins must be bruised from the last treatment. This Monday they will use the right arm. If I experience pain in the right arm and my left arm does not heal in the short term I will probably elect to get a pic or port inserted in my body. A pic/port is where a line is temporarily inserted in your body so that blood can be taken and fluids can be inserted without tapping into your vein numerous times over. Honestly I'm tired of the needle situation, so this is a viable option. Finally, as a follow up from a previous blog, my neut counts are now back to normal. After my treatments I am now required to inject myself with a protein for five days following the treatment. They seem to be working since I failed to get sick just as Olivia and Amy did. Next blog I will discuss what I am currently doing for my health, i.e. meditation, nutrition, exercise, etc.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
An Amazing Retreat
The Gawler Foundation's Life and Living retreat that took place out in the Yarra Valley was an amazing experience. From the program, to the people (participants and instructors/counsellors), to the environment where it took place, it has definitely had a life changing affect on me.
A bit about the program. The ten day Life and Living retreat is a full on program that educates the participants and their support people on key principles that can enable anyone to activate and develop one's own healing power and maximize the body's potential to restore a natural state of balance and vitality. If you read Ian Gawler's book, You Can Conquer Cancer, he specifically lays out principles that he developed while on his own personal experience of being diagnosed with a terminal cancer in which he was able to cure himself, recover and be cancer free for over 30 years. Most important is that the book also takes the feedback from participants in the support groups that he was running for the past 30 plus years. Furthermore, the book, the program and the practices can also be applied to people who are not diagnosed, but want to live a preventative lifestyle.
The key principles that I was educated on and that I put into practice during the retreat were meditation/relaxation techniques, deep dive on nutrition and deciding on a dietary approach that is best for me, understanding the the true causes of cancer, tapping into the power of the mind or simply living life in a more positive way, exploring spiritual development via reflection and contemplation, diving deep into emotions/going through a forgiveness process/reviewing past relationships, dealing with and controlling pain, and contemplating/accepting death and dying. I also took part in Yoga and Qigong classes, had numerous massages for rebalancing purposes, and had one on one counseling sessions. Finally, I went through a full detox eliminating alcohol, sugar, salt, meat, caffeine, etc. from my body. This was accomplished by eating a vegan diet and drinking 5-7 juices a day. At the end of the retreat I felt great. The biggest challenges is to commit to and live by some or all of the principles that were taught. If anyone is interested in me diving deeper into any of these topics I would be happy to do so via the blog or email.
Without a doubt the most amazing part of the retreat were simply the people. I met some amazing/inspirational/beautiful people. From every walk of life, young, old, funny, intelligent, experienced, warming, philosophical, emotional, kind, etc. Someone said at the end of the program that if you looked at the cross section of the people who were involved in this retreat (participants and all), that simply there is much hope for the human race and the future of our planet. There is so much good in the world and unfortunately we are all sucked into the hype of the media, consumerism, and the busyness of life. For the individual, this is not sustainable. What matters most is the living in the present moment. I have to agree. The most amazing part of it all is that I got an opportunity to listen to the incredible life stories of these people and understand their life journey, their diagnosis, and the affect on their lives the diagnosis has had on them. I was also able to share mine as well. This being done in a group setting and in a one on one environment, it was very therapeutic and most important you really got to know everyone and develop a special bond with people. I was exposed to and have become close with some amazing people who attended this retreat. For some of those people, this is their last hope to escape death. This was humbling. I was also exposed to many people who attended as a support person (i.e. wife, friend, sister, etc.) and watched in awe of their complete devotion, commitment and love with their primary focus to get their loved one healthy again. And finally the instructors, therapists, counselors, staff, etc. were the most loving, positive, welcoming, educated group of people I ever met. They made the experience what it was, Amazing.
The environment where the retreat took place was in the heart of the Yarra Valley right outside of Melbourne. I was literally inserted into this pristine estate where I was surrounded by bush, mountains, and numerous wildlife (kangaroos, koalas, too many bird species to name, etc.) The smells, sounds, and the air made me feel at peace and was the icing on the cake for me.
A bit about the program. The ten day Life and Living retreat is a full on program that educates the participants and their support people on key principles that can enable anyone to activate and develop one's own healing power and maximize the body's potential to restore a natural state of balance and vitality. If you read Ian Gawler's book, You Can Conquer Cancer, he specifically lays out principles that he developed while on his own personal experience of being diagnosed with a terminal cancer in which he was able to cure himself, recover and be cancer free for over 30 years. Most important is that the book also takes the feedback from participants in the support groups that he was running for the past 30 plus years. Furthermore, the book, the program and the practices can also be applied to people who are not diagnosed, but want to live a preventative lifestyle.
The key principles that I was educated on and that I put into practice during the retreat were meditation/relaxation techniques, deep dive on nutrition and deciding on a dietary approach that is best for me, understanding the the true causes of cancer, tapping into the power of the mind or simply living life in a more positive way, exploring spiritual development via reflection and contemplation, diving deep into emotions/going through a forgiveness process/reviewing past relationships, dealing with and controlling pain, and contemplating/accepting death and dying. I also took part in Yoga and Qigong classes, had numerous massages for rebalancing purposes, and had one on one counseling sessions. Finally, I went through a full detox eliminating alcohol, sugar, salt, meat, caffeine, etc. from my body. This was accomplished by eating a vegan diet and drinking 5-7 juices a day. At the end of the retreat I felt great. The biggest challenges is to commit to and live by some or all of the principles that were taught. If anyone is interested in me diving deeper into any of these topics I would be happy to do so via the blog or email.
Without a doubt the most amazing part of the retreat were simply the people. I met some amazing/inspirational/beautiful people. From every walk of life, young, old, funny, intelligent, experienced, warming, philosophical, emotional, kind, etc. Someone said at the end of the program that if you looked at the cross section of the people who were involved in this retreat (participants and all), that simply there is much hope for the human race and the future of our planet. There is so much good in the world and unfortunately we are all sucked into the hype of the media, consumerism, and the busyness of life. For the individual, this is not sustainable. What matters most is the living in the present moment. I have to agree. The most amazing part of it all is that I got an opportunity to listen to the incredible life stories of these people and understand their life journey, their diagnosis, and the affect on their lives the diagnosis has had on them. I was also able to share mine as well. This being done in a group setting and in a one on one environment, it was very therapeutic and most important you really got to know everyone and develop a special bond with people. I was exposed to and have become close with some amazing people who attended this retreat. For some of those people, this is their last hope to escape death. This was humbling. I was also exposed to many people who attended as a support person (i.e. wife, friend, sister, etc.) and watched in awe of their complete devotion, commitment and love with their primary focus to get their loved one healthy again. And finally the instructors, therapists, counselors, staff, etc. were the most loving, positive, welcoming, educated group of people I ever met. They made the experience what it was, Amazing.
The environment where the retreat took place was in the heart of the Yarra Valley right outside of Melbourne. I was literally inserted into this pristine estate where I was surrounded by bush, mountains, and numerous wildlife (kangaroos, koalas, too many bird species to name, etc.) The smells, sounds, and the air made me feel at peace and was the icing on the cake for me.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Gawler Foundation Ten Day Retreat
When I started on this journey I told myself that this experience is going to be one that will allow me to learn quite a bit about myself. I always thought that I was aware of my physical, spiritual and emotional capabilities or state. But when the 22nd of Oct happened it kind of went out the door. Every day I am thankful that the cancer that I have is not the terminal type. That moment in time when the ER doctor and Oncologist said that I have a mass in my chest and it looks like cancer, I thought that this could possibly be it. First thought, "Olivia" Both Amy and I truly believe that I am one of the lucky ones. Being in the hospital twice now and chatting with other cancer patients, some are not as fortunate as I am.
I'm on a journey here to better my physical, spiritual and emotional self. I've been fortunate to have family and friends in America who are cheering for me and guiding me on how I can heal myself with good nutrition and good chi. Here in Australia I am also fortunate to have friends who are cheering for me as well. Two separate friends of mine, Natalie and David, have guided me towards the Ian Gawler Foundation (www.gawler.org)
You can check out the details of who Ian Gawler is at the link above, but in short Ian Gawler ia an Australian who over 30 years ago got bone cancer, it reappeared a while later, and then was told that he had a short time to live. He then went on a mission to do all he could to cure himself. Through good nutrition, meditation and simply understanding why he wanted to live which we call hope, he was able to cure himself. He then formulated a support group, then the foundation to help others who have cancer in an effort to assist them with recovery or dying with dignity.
On the 6th of December I will be attending the ten date retreat in the Yarra Valley. My expectation is that I can learn as much as I can to better my life through good nutrition, meditation and come out of it with an improved positive attitude.
I'm on a journey here to better my physical, spiritual and emotional self. I've been fortunate to have family and friends in America who are cheering for me and guiding me on how I can heal myself with good nutrition and good chi. Here in Australia I am also fortunate to have friends who are cheering for me as well. Two separate friends of mine, Natalie and David, have guided me towards the Ian Gawler Foundation (www.gawler.org)
You can check out the details of who Ian Gawler is at the link above, but in short Ian Gawler ia an Australian who over 30 years ago got bone cancer, it reappeared a while later, and then was told that he had a short time to live. He then went on a mission to do all he could to cure himself. Through good nutrition, meditation and simply understanding why he wanted to live which we call hope, he was able to cure himself. He then formulated a support group, then the foundation to help others who have cancer in an effort to assist them with recovery or dying with dignity.
On the 6th of December I will be attending the ten date retreat in the Yarra Valley. My expectation is that I can learn as much as I can to better my life through good nutrition, meditation and come out of it with an improved positive attitude.
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