An Amazing Retreat

The Gawler Foundation's Life and Living retreat that took place out in the Yarra Valley was an amazing experience. From the program, to the people (participants and instructors/counsellors), to the environment where it took place, it has definitely had a life changing affect on me.

A bit about the program. The ten day Life and Living retreat is a full on program that educates the participants and their support people on key principles that can enable anyone to activate and develop one's own healing power and maximize the body's potential to restore a natural state of balance and vitality. If you read Ian Gawler's book, You Can Conquer Cancer, he specifically lays out principles that he developed while on his own personal experience of being diagnosed with a terminal cancer in which he was able to cure himself, recover and be cancer free for over 30 years. Most important is that the book also takes the feedback from participants in the support groups that he was running for the past 30 plus years. Furthermore, the book, the program and the practices can also be applied to people who are not diagnosed, but want to live a preventative lifestyle.

The key principles that I was educated on and that I put into practice during the retreat were meditation/relaxation techniques, deep dive on nutrition and deciding on a dietary approach that is best for me, understanding the the true causes of cancer, tapping into the power of the mind or simply living life in a more positive way, exploring spiritual development via reflection and contemplation, diving deep into emotions/going through a forgiveness process/reviewing past relationships, dealing with and controlling pain, and contemplating/accepting death and dying. I also took part in Yoga and Qigong classes, had numerous massages for rebalancing purposes, and had one on one counseling sessions. Finally, I went through a full detox eliminating alcohol, sugar, salt, meat, caffeine, etc. from my body. This was accomplished by eating a vegan diet and drinking 5-7 juices a day. At the end of the retreat I felt great. The biggest challenges is to commit to and live by some or all of the principles that were taught. If anyone is interested in me diving deeper into any of these topics I would be happy to do so via the blog or email.

Without a doubt the most amazing part of the retreat were simply the people. I met some amazing/inspirational/beautiful people. From every walk of life, young, old, funny, intelligent, experienced, warming, philosophical, emotional, kind, etc. Someone said at the end of the program that if you looked at the cross section of the people who were involved in this retreat (participants and all), that simply there is much hope for the human race and the future of our planet. There is so much good in the world and unfortunately we are all sucked into the hype of the media, consumerism, and the busyness of life. For the individual, this is not sustainable. What matters most is the living in the present moment. I have to agree. The most amazing part of it all is that I got an opportunity to listen to the incredible life stories of these people and understand their life journey, their diagnosis, and the affect on their lives the diagnosis has had on them. I was also able to share mine as well. This being done in a group setting and in a one on one environment, it was very therapeutic and most important you really got to know everyone and develop a special bond with people. I was exposed to and have become close with some amazing people who attended this retreat. For some of those people, this is their last hope to escape death. This was humbling. I was also exposed to many people who attended as a support person (i.e. wife, friend, sister, etc.) and watched in awe of their complete devotion, commitment and love with their primary focus to get their loved one healthy again. And finally the instructors, therapists, counselors, staff, etc. were the most loving, positive, welcoming, educated group of people I ever met. They made the experience what it was, Amazing.

The environment where the retreat took place was in the heart of the Yarra Valley right outside of Melbourne. I was literally inserted into this pristine estate where I was surrounded by bush, mountains, and numerous wildlife (kangaroos, koalas, too many bird species to name, etc.) The smells, sounds, and the air made me feel at peace and was the icing on the cake for me.

Gawler Foundation Ten Day Retreat

When I started on this journey I told myself that this experience is going to be one that will allow me to learn quite a bit about myself. I always thought that I was aware of my physical, spiritual and emotional capabilities or state. But when the 22nd of Oct happened it kind of went out the door. Every day I am thankful that the cancer that I have is not the terminal type. That moment in time when the ER doctor and Oncologist said that I have a mass in my chest and it looks like cancer, I thought that this could possibly be it. First thought, "Olivia" Both Amy and I truly believe that I am one of the lucky ones. Being in the hospital twice now and chatting with other cancer patients, some are not as fortunate as I am.

I'm on a journey here to better my physical, spiritual and emotional self. I've been fortunate to have family and friends in America who are cheering for me and guiding me on how I can heal myself with good nutrition and good chi. Here in Australia I am also fortunate to have friends who are cheering for me as well. Two separate friends of mine, Natalie and David, have guided me towards the Ian Gawler Foundation (www.gawler.org)

You can check out the details of who Ian Gawler is at the link above, but in short Ian Gawler ia an Australian who over 30 years ago got bone cancer, it reappeared a while later, and then was told that he had a short time to live. He then went on a mission to do all he could to cure himself. Through good nutrition, meditation and simply understanding why he wanted to live which we call hope, he was able to cure himself. He then formulated a support group, then the foundation to help others who have cancer in an effort to assist them with recovery or dying with dignity.

On the 6th of December I will be attending the ten date retreat in the Yarra Valley. My expectation is that I can learn as much as I can to better my life through good nutrition, meditation and come out of it with an improved positive attitude.

2nd Treatment Postponed until Dec 6

Thanks to everyone for your comments. Again sorry for the delay in getting a post out. Up front I want to say that things are going relatively well since my first treatment. I have had only minimal side effects which include tiredness in the late afternoon (although I think that everyone gets that) and one of my blood counts are lower due to the chemo (more on that in a minute). Overall I've maintained my weight, good appetite, and I have fairly good energy. I've even started taking Olivia out on walks in the early AM. It's good exercise for me since she is strapped to my body via a baby carrier (as seen on my picture). Carrying 7 to 8 kilos (approximately 17 pounds) for 3 kilometers is not bad of a workout.

On to the delay in chemo. This past Monday I was scheduled for my 2nd treatment, but it was cancelled due to one of my blood counts being too low. Before every chemo session my doctor orders blood to see how I am fairing. He checks out white blood count, red blood count, platelets and something called neutrophils. White blood cells are core to the immune system to fight off infection, red blood counts are directly related to oxygen being delivered throughout the body and platelets help with clotting. These three were fine. It is the neutrophils that are low. Neutrophils are a type of white blood cell. These are the cells that show up first when there is an infection. Without them you cannot fight off an infection which can lead to a very serious situation.

One out of two hodgkins lymphoma patients who are on the ABVD drugs experience a reaction where the body can not produce enough neutrophils. Therefore patients need to inject themselves with medicine to compensate and ensure that there is an effective immune system
which is very similar to what diabetics do on a daily basis. Prior to chemo my counts were fine, so I expect that this will go back to normal after my treatment.

Next Monday I will be going for my second treatment. I'm anxious to get this rolling on a fortnightly basis so that I can anticipate when the treatment is over. There is a music festival coming up in late summer I want to attend. My next post will be over the weekend. It will be primarily on my upcoming 10 day retreat I'm going on next week right after my chemo treatment. More later on.

1st Chemo Treatment

This past Wednesday I had my first chemo treatment. I am actually scheduled to get chemo every other Monday. But since my Doctor wanted to have me admitted to the hospital for observation, I did not get in till Wednesday. Overall the treatment went well. After they put a line in my arm, the nurses administered a drip to hydrate me, then they administered some liquids to ensure that I would not get nauseous. Then the fun began and they administered four different bags of chemotherapy drugs. On the fourth bag, halfway through being done, I experienced a reaction that I believe was more panic than allergic. A weird feeling came across me and I began to uncontrollably shake and my blood pressure went up dramatically. The nurses and doctors stopped the chemo, gave me some cortisone steroids and valium to chill me out. It was a weird experience, and poor Amy who just arrived at the hospital when this episode was taking place was told she could not go into my room because there was an emergency. When I calmed down I completed my chemo without any other adverse reactions. Since I've been home Thursday all has been well. Imspent time with Olivia and Amy, had some dinner with two friends of mine Karim and David, and I've had a bit of a rest. The only downside is that for the first 5 days I need to be extra cautious around Olivia and Amy in case there are chemical toxins being released through my skin. So I have to watch the bodily fluid exposure to both of them. When I am around Olivia I am wearing gloves to be extra careful. When I put them on for the first time, she was a bit taken back. Now she is alright with them and I only have a day or two left with the gloves.

Treatment Timeframe Correction

In my post yesterday I mentioned that I should be ending my chemo treatment at the end of February. Unfortunately, today I was informed that there will be another 6 cycles added on to the treatment.(6 cycles = 12 weeks) That will take me to the end of April for the chemo, then the month of May will be radiotherapy. Well it is longer than I expected, but what is another 12 weeks in comparison to a much longer life to enjoy Amy, Olivia and so many other wonderful people and experiences. I do have to say that it is odd going into the hospital for my first treatment, but I'm feeling pretty good physically and emotionally at the moment. I have lots of energy, I'm eating well, and I'm keeping up with Olivia who motors round the house like an F1 race car. Knowing tomorrow they are going to inject me with medication that can revere this feeling is a bit odd, but tests don't lie. Gotta do it. One last note. Amy, Olivia and I went to a photographer today to have our family photos done before the hair goes bye bye. It was a great time. Olivia is a character. Definitely gets her personality from Amy.

Treatment Details (Medical)

The chemotherapy treatment that I will be going through is known as ABVD which consists of four types of drugs that they put together and administer intravenously. At this point the Oncologist, Zimet, has said that I will go through 6 cycles of treatment which takes place every fortnight. The first treatment will be administered this Tuesday in which I will have to be admitted to the hospital so that I can be observed overnight in case there are any odd side effects. Also during my treatments the doctors will be monitoring my blood counts to ensure that i am not at risk of other illnesses. At the 3 month marker or after the third administration of the treatment, a full evaluation will take place to see if the treatment is working.

After the chemotherapy is over, approximately at the end of January, then I will begin 4 weeks of radiotherapy. The radiotherapy will take place 5 to 7 times a week for 4 weeks. Intense.

Zimet has told me of some of the side effects that could occur with the chemotherapy treatment. Some of those are: nausea and vomiting, but can be controlled with drugs, hair loss which grows back after treatment, reversible falls in blood counts, minor risk of cardiac damage, minor risk of long term shortness of breath and mouth ulcerations.

In my next blog I will talk about some of the things that I am doing from a nutrition and meditation perspective to assist my body in dealing with the treatment.

Staging Results and Final Diagnosis

First, I want to say to everyone who have posted comments, thanks. It's great to receive such positive thoughts from wonderful folks like you. The past two weeks have been busy to say the least. Lots of needles, scans, consultations, etc. My apologies for being a bit on the silent side. I felt that one post to cover the results would be best. So here we go. The final diagnosis is that I have stage 2 Hodgkin's Lymphoma. This is a good result. Reason is that the Lymphoma has not spread to other parts of my body. It's primarily in the neck and the chest region. If it was only in one lymph node region, then I would of been stage 1. But since it is in multiple areas of the chest and neck, I'm stage two. During a visit to the radiologist this week she did mention that the size of the tumor that I have in my chest was impressive and its up against my air pipe and close to the chest cavity. Good thing we're early.

Here are the results of the tests. If you read any of the previous blogs I mentioned a few of these tests that I was going through. The one I was worried about the most was the bone marrow and that one came back negative. So the factory is all good. I also had a abdominal/pelvis CT scan that came back negative. This test checked out all of my organs and lymph nodes below the chest past the groin area. Then the final scan was the PET scan which is the most thorough body scan where they inject some radioactive sugar into your body and put you through a scanner in order to trace where the sugar goes. Your heart and brain eat a lot of sugar and so do tumors. This test came back negative as well. Numerous blood tests came back negative. These tests were primarily looking at white and red blood cell counts along with organ functions. I believe they were also looking for other cancer indicators as well. And finally, since the chemotherapy can cause shortness of breath and possible long term cardiac damage they ran tests to established a baseline of where I am at right now. Those tests came back favorable where i demonstrated good lung capacity and a high percentage of blood being able to be pumped through the heart.

Bone marrow biopsy - Well that sucked

I'm still not sure why I had to be awake for this procedure because it sucked. Let me set the scene. First the objective of this exercise is to inject a needle inside an incision made right above my tush/fanny/butt and suck out a teaspoon of liquid marrow and then extract a 2 to 3 cm piece of bone. Then at the same time I had to lay on a bed on my side with my knees to my chest. Challenging for me, awkward for the doctor, but achievable. Drugs included a pill to help with the nausea and morphine to make me relax. Then a local anesthetic applied to the area where the procedure took place. I'm not sure what was worst, the pushing/pressure of the needle on my bone or the weird feeling of marrow leaving my body because of the odd void left behind. The piece of bone they yanked out was the easy part. Glad it is over. A day later, I'm a bit sore, but active. Looking forward to the results. As a side note, the reason why this procedure had to be done is that the marrow is the site of normal production of blood cells (white, red, platelets). This is the only place where they can see if the blood cells may be lacking or abnormal in the development, produced in excess, or replaced by cells normally foreign to the marrow, ie cancer. In other words it is at the core and will help with understanding the progress of treatment.

Symptoms and Staging

Up to this point I have not shown any of the classic symptoms of someone who has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I'm looking at this as a positive and I'm hoping that this in an indicator that the disease has not spread throughout my body. In any case a process for staging needs to take place. And so this past week and all of next week I will be going through the staging process. Staging is going to help the doctors determine how far along the cancer has progressed (i.e. has it spread to liver, gallbladder, spleen, other lymph nodes throughout the body, etc.). Once that process is complete, there will be a plan of action as to what type of treatment I will be going through. First indicators is that it will be 24 weeks of chemotherapy with a possibility of complimentary treatments of radiotherapy. The tests that I will be going through this week are a respiratory test for my lungs, PET scan to check my heart, another CT abdominal scan to see if there are additional tumors in the lower half of my body, a bone marrow extraction to see if my bone marrow has been affected and additional blood tests. Out of all the tests, the bone marrow extraction does not seem appealing to me. Jamming a needle inside my pelvic bone and extracting liquid seems quite painful. That's the first test I'll be going to on Monday. In addition to those tests, I will also make a deposit to the local sperm bank in case Amy and I want to have another child.

Part 3 - The Diagnosis

When I arrived at the emergency room the doctor on staff ran a couple of EKG tests. From the EKG they noticed that there was an indicator that there may be a blood clot. And so they ordered a CT scan for my chest. Initially I thought that a blood clot was definitely a possibility since I do quite a bit of travel and was actually in Beijing and Singapore three weeks ago. When the results from the CT scan came back the doctor on staff came into my room quite serious and said, "Mate, good news is that there is not a blood clot. But there is an 11 cm mass that we found. Mate nothing grows in this part of your chest. I suggest you call the Misses and have her come in." At that point an oncologist, Dr. Jennens, was called in and he did an examination of my lymph nodes and concluded that we were possibly looking at a lymphoma. He then told me that I will need surgery to remove part of my lymph node in order for a biopsy to be done. This was to give them clearer picture of what we were dealing with. At this point I contacted Amy, gave her the story and she proceeded to come in to the hospital with Olivia. Amazing that abdominal pains from cold medicine has led me down this path of finding out I have cancer. I think I'm very fortunate. The following day I went into surgery, they removed a piece of my lymph node, a biopsy on the lymph node took place, multiple blood tests were done and it was concluded by Jennens that I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. My case was then turned over to Dr. Zimet who became my new oncologist. The following day I checked out of the hospital.

Part 2 - The Ambo

In the ambulance, Dave and Sean treated me like a cardio patient since I had abdominal pains moving up into my chest and neck region. From my perspective I really did not think that I was having a heart issue, but I left it to the boys to figure that out. I remember clearly what Dave told me about 3-5 times, "if we deal with what possibly may be the most serious, then everything else will fix itself."  If only he knew.  After attaching me to an EKG and taking my blood pressure I was given a chewable asprin, a nitrate and some morphine to chill me out. Once I was stable they took me to Epworth Richmond Hospital on my request. I really appreciate that Dave and Sean did a great job with me. This is only the second time I was in an ambulance (first was with my motorcycle accident) and I felt like they took really good care of me. At the time prior to their arrival, though, I was a bit pissed that it did take them so long to show up.  I guess I'm used to the CFD showing up within a couple of minutes.

Part 1 - Pre Hospital

For a couple of weeks prior to the 16th of October, Olivia was working on getting through a runny nose, sneezes, etc.  Then from the 16th to the 19th, Amy developed a serious stomach flu (vomiting, diarrhea, dehydration, excessive loss of energy).  On the 19th it appeared that I caught the bug without the vomiting and diarrhea.  For the entire day I was zapped of all energy.  That evening at around 6 PM after I had a little bit of soup and I decided to take some over the counter cold tablets and crash for the evening.  Thank God Amy was able to care for Olivia until her bedtime.  Then at 3 AM I woke and took another round of cold tablets.  Then at 5 AM while Amy was feeding Olivia I woke with severe pains in my abdomen and had shortness of breath.  It was the first time in my life that I did not even hesitate to call an ambulance.  I knew for sure that something was seriously wrong.  Amy called triple 0 and an ambulance came.