Holidays, Birthdays and Update

A belated Happy New Year to all. Many years of happiness and good health to everyone. The family and I did not do much this New Years since Amy and Olivia were both sick. Amy and I did enjoy the view of the Melbourne fireworks from our apartment (42nd floor), so that was a treat. As the one with the low immune system, I prided myself as the one who was not sick, but was sad that both Olivia and Amy were sick for most of the holidays.

This year was special since I celebrated my 40th on the 1st of January and Olivia celebrated her first birthday just yesterday on the 14th. As mentioned above, we did not do much on NYE or New Years Day for that matter because the girls were sick, but on the 2nd we took a ride to Hanging Rock which is 45 minutes outside of Melbourne. At hanging rock we took a beautiful uphill hike and when we made it to the top, we had a gorgeous view of the Victorian countryside. Everything about the hike was great. The smells, views, and physical exertion were all good especially since I carried Olivia in the baby carrier strapped to my chest both up and down the hill. It was a good one hour hike. For Olivia's birthday, Amy and I had a chocolate and vanilla cupcake for her. We sang Happy Birthday, blew out the candle, then Olivia proceeded to completely destroy the cupcakes. Not sure she ate much of them, but I think she had a great time. She was covered in cupcake so we took a birthday bath too. I think she had a good day. Next week we'll be having a joint birthday party for Olivia and her good mate Tomas. Should be lots of fun. Also for Olivia's birthday week we made a trip to the Melbourne Zoo. Another great day for the family.

I've done a lot of reflection/contemplation on turning 40 and the age thing does not really matter as much as I thought it would. As my cousin and best friend Bill puts it, I'd rather be getting older than not. He's absolutely right. I think what is important is the mere fact that I am here for this landmark birthday and I have the ambition and drive to improve my health and be here for many more. During the retreat there was a lot of discussion on the topic of living and dying. Recognizing and accepting death is something that we all need to face and everyone needs to go through their own process of acceptance. I'm sure that everyone has heard this a million times, but I will repeat it. Everyone should be living in the present moment, we should all be living right now as if tomorrow we will not be around. This birthday has really made me think about that. While I accept the fact that at some point in the future I will die, right now in the present moment I need to live, enjoy, laugh, love, etc. In today's world it is sometimes hard to do just that or for some people it's hard to even think about that. Happy Birthday to me, and my little girl too.

O.K., so here's where I'm at with my health. This Monday I will be going for my fifth chemo treatment out of twelve. After the sixth I will be having a midterm where my oncologist is going to assess where I'm at, i.e. how I'm going with the treatment. I'll need to take some scans and tests if I choose so. I'm thinking about not taking PET and CT scans and looking for alternatives because the amount of radiation that is going to be put into my body just from the scans themselves will add on another 12 to 15 years that it will take for my body to rid of the radiation. I've already tallied up 15 to 20 years from all the tests I have had in the past. At this point I'm weighing in at 83 kilos or 183 lbs. This is the lowest weight I've been in quite some time and personally it's lower than I wanted it to be. I'm certain that on my next visit to the oncologist, he's going to say something about it. But being on a vegan diet about 85% of the time, I'm finding it difficult to prepare and eat enough food. My appetite is still very good and I have not had any bouts with nausea or vomiting. Hair wise I got a buzz cut a couple of weeks ago because I started losing long strans of hair around the house. I thought it would be better to lose very short hairs instead of long ones so that it did not drive Amy crazy. Since I have a massive mop on my head, I still have a good amount of hair, but it is thinning out. And now I'm seeing it on Olivia once in a while since we like to play together a lot. I think that the only thing that has been bothering me about my health is that I have been experiencing pain in my entire left arm now ever since I had my last treatment almost two weeks ago. I was worried for a bit about it, but my oncologist says that the veins must be bruised from the last treatment. This Monday they will use the right arm. If I experience pain in the right arm and my left arm does not heal in the short term I will probably elect to get a pic or port inserted in my body. A pic/port is where a line is temporarily inserted in your body so that blood can be taken and fluids can be inserted without tapping into your vein numerous times over. Honestly I'm tired of the needle situation, so this is a viable option. Finally, as a follow up from a previous blog, my neut counts are now back to normal. After my treatments I am now required to inject myself with a protein for five days following the treatment. They seem to be working since I failed to get sick just as Olivia and Amy did. Next blog I will discuss what I am currently doing for my health, i.e. meditation, nutrition, exercise, etc.