Life, Purpose and Happiness

Hi Everyone. My apologies for not updating the blog in over a months time. A lot has happened in the last month that I want to share with you. First, let me give you an update on what is happening regarding my health. In my last post I reported that I had a CT scan and that my oncologist reported that the mass has shrunk over 50% and that I was due to have a PET scan to determine the status of the cancer. Well, I had that scan done and the conclusions that both my oncologist and haemotologist came to was that, after review, they could not determine if what was showing up on the superimposed PET and CT scans was just inflamation in the scar tissue or cancer. This is amazing since I started out with an 11 cm mass in my chest and now the activity in my chest is so small that it is impossible to determine activty. So regardless, there is no doubt that the treatment is working, I'm responding and that they want me to continue with chemo and go through the radiotherapy as well. I questioned both of them on why I should go through the radiotherapy and basically it comes down to increasing my odds. If I do not go through the radiotherapy, my cure rate is between 70 to 80 percent, which means there is a 20 to 30 percent chance that the cancer would reoccur. But if I went through the radiotherapy that number goes up to 90%. So I have opted to go through the radiotherapy since I'm planning on being here for the long haul. I just want to give myself the best result I possibly can. The only side effect is that going through radiotherapy there can be some cardiac and lung damage that would show up later in life.

Last week I completed my 9th chemo treatment and will be going to my 10th this upcoming monday. After that treatment, only 2 more to go. Both Amy and I are really excited that this part of the journey is almost over. Overall I am feeling pretty good. I am down to about 178lbs or 81 kilos. I am feeling healthy at this weight and many people have commented that I'm looking pretty healthy as well.

Ever since I went to the Gawler retreat I have always wanted to explain some of the details of what I have learned and what I am practicing in my daily life that I believe is helping me to heal and will allow me to maintain good health. Below are not all of the details, but it is a start. I promise in upcoming posts I will provide more detail.

From a nutrition perspective, first I am drinking a lot of fresh vegetable juices. I'm primarily having a combined carrot, celery, beetroot and ginger juice per day along with a glass of lemon juice with water when I rise in the morning. I should be drinking another "green" juice and carrot juice per day, but I've stopped doing so primarily because of time. I'm following primarily two types of diets that I learned about at Gawler. First, there is the healing diet which is purely a vegan/vegetarian/organic diet. Second, there is a maintenance diet which incorporates the healing diet, but is less restrictive, i.e. I can eat a bit of meat, fish, dairy, and alcohol. When I returned from Gawler I was doing 100% of the healing diet. Now I am doing about 50/50 of maintenance and healing. I avoid all processed food, fast food, caffeine and junk. If I do eat meat, chicken or fish, it is organic, free range and the deep sea version respectively.

From a physical fitness perspective, in a past blog I mentioned that I was going on walks with Olivia, but not enough of them. Well that's still the situation. I am getting out with her, but not as much as I want to. Inside the house, though, we play quite a bit. I don't think I have crawled as much since I was a baby myself. Lots of push ups, stretches and lifting of Olivia. What I have also begun doing is practicing Yoga. I go to a 2 hour yoga class per week that helps me with strength, balance, flexibility and inner focus. I love the class.

At Gawler I was taught that the vast majority of illnesses are caused or aggravated by a stress component which can also be referenced as "excessive thinking." Excessive thinking creates defensiveness, contraction and stagnation of the natural energy movement throughout the body. Excessive thinking contributes to ill health and can also prevent a sick body from healing. Therefore understanding the thinking mind and knowing how to let go of excessive thinking is extremely helpful for me to heal my body. How do I do this? By meditating. While I was at Gawler I was taught how to meditate using the mindfulness based stillness mediation method. While I was there, I meditated 3-5 times a day for 30 to 40 minutes a session. When I came back from Gawler I was doing 1 to 2 30 minute sessions a day. And now I am meditating less than 5 days a week. I believe that I need to increase the number of times I meditate a week simply because I just feel better when I do so. And now that I am working, I've learned that meditation has helped me think clearer, listen to people better and focus on what I need to get done. Furthermore, Amy can definitely see the difference in me on days I meditate and when I don't. It is clearly something that I need to do more often. For me I'm viewing it as a journey to improve my meditation practice and trying not to worry about how often I do it per day.

Finally I want to leave you with something. A few weeks back I went to a public talk and saw Sogyal Rinpoche who is a Tibetan Dzogchen Lama of the Nyingma tradition. He has been teaching for over 30 years and he is also the author of the book, "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" At the talk he spoke about the topic of meditation, but before he got into the details of meditation he touched on something profound. He said that happiness should be based on contentment and inner peace. And when you are trying to find that inner peace, you must only search inside of you. He went on to say that unfortunately in society today it appears that most look to the outside world to find happiness. A practice of meditation gives you the ability to find that inner peace and contentment. Simply put, meditation is the eye into your soul.

Here's something to think about that may help you on the road to finding happiness. Sit down in a quiet place. Then after you're in a relaxed state jot down in a bit of detail what has given you a feeling of enthusiasm, passion or sense of purpose and meaning in your life. And then think about what nourishes you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. For me, being diagnosed with cancer, I think about this a lot and it has helped me to set the priorities in my life.

Will chat again soon.